by: Cassandra M. Faraci, Psy.D.
By October, families often expect the back-to-school jitters to fade. Kids should be into the rhythm of their school days, and adults should have settled into new routines at work and home. But for many, the stress doesn’t go away. Children may still feel school anxiety while adults carry the weight of demanding work tasks and busy family schedules.
School Anxiety That Doesn’t Fade
It’s normal for kids to feel nervous at the start of the year, but by October, most should be finding their way. Signs that anxiety may be lingering include:
- Frequent stomachaches or headaches, often before school or on Sunday nights
- Trouble falling or staying asleep
- Worry about grades, tests, or making mistakes
- Avoidance of schoolwork, activities, or even school itself (school refusal)
- Perfectionistic thinking, like “If it isn’t perfect, I’ve failed”
When these patterns continue, it maybe more than typical adjustment; it could be ongoing school-related anxiety.
Adults Feel the Pressure, Too
Kids aren’t the only ones affected. Many adults find their own stress rising in October as work ramps up and family schedules grow busier. Common experiences include:
- Feeling overwhelmed by deadlines, meetings, and household responsibilities
- Struggling to balance work and family time
- Worrying about performance at work or finances as the holidays approach
- Difficulty relaxing, even after the day is done
These pressures can make it harder to support children effectively, especially if stress is affecting sleep, patience, and focus.
Why Stress Lingers
Both kids and adults are responding to similar forces:
- Performance pressure at school, work, or home
- Social challenges from friendships to workplace dynamics to not connecting with close friends because of busyness
- Constant-change fatigue as schedules and expectations continuously shift
- Shorter days and less downtime which can amplify pressure
When the whole household is running on stress, it can create a cycle where kids’ anxiety fuels parents’ stress, and vice versa.
How to Cope
The good news is that small steps can make a big difference for both kids and adults:
- Keep communication open. Ask questions like, “What felt hardest today?” instead of only “How was your day?” Adults can also share their own stress in healthy ways; this is good modeling for children. If they know adults feel stress, it normalizes this experience for them. Even better – when children see healthy coping strategies from adults, they’re learning how to cope with their own stress.
- Stick to routines. Consistent sleep, meals, and work/homework time create stability and reduce overwhelm. Unpredictability and frequent shifting of routines and schedules can create tension.
- Build in stress relief. We hear it often – “Take care of yourself” and “Fill your cup” and “Have ‘me’ time.” Even though it’s not easy to find time to prioritize ourselves, it’s incredibly important for mental health. Time away from to-do lists, emails, and other actions of productivity will actually help you recharge and be more Whether it’s a family walk, mindfulness practice, or downtime without screens, small breaks help reset the brain.
- Seek support early. If stress or anxiety is disrupting daily life, therapy can provide tools for coping before it escalates. How do you know it’s disruptive? If it’s impacting your functioning (academic, occupational, social, or any other area) and/or causing you or your family member significant distress, it may be time to seek professional help.
Need support?
If stress or anxiety is weighing on you or your family, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Our team is here to help you build coping strategies, strengthen resilience, and create more balance at home and at work. Call or text us at 908-883-4173 to start the conversation.