Child Anxiety

It’s normal for children to worry.
Most kids experience fears and worries that change as they grow—whether it’s being afraid of the dark, feeling nervous about a test, or worrying before trying something new. The difference is that anxiety disorders go beyond typical worries. The fear or worry becomes more intense, lasts longer than expected, and starts interfering with daily life. A child may avoid school, activities, social situations, or sleeping alone because of anxiety. They often seek constant reassurance, have frequent physical complaints like stomachaches or headaches, or spend a great deal of time trying to feel “certain” or “safe.” When anxiety consistently gets in the way of a child’s functioning, relationships, or overall well-being, it’s worth having it evaluated.

Absolutely. Anxiety doesn’t always look like a child who is quiet or obviously worried. Some children become irritable, argumentative, or have frequent meltdowns because their nervous system is overwhelmed. Others may refuse to go to school, avoid certain situations, or seem “defiant” when they’re actually trying to escape something that feels frightening or overwhelming. Anxiety can also show up physically through headaches, stomachaches, nausea, muscle tension, fatigue, or difficulty sleeping. That’s why it’s important to look beyond the behavior and ask, “What might this child be feeling?” or “How is this behavior functioning for this child?” rather than assuming they’re simply being difficult.

It’s natural to want to protect your child from feeling anxious, but avoiding feared situations usually makes anxiety stronger over time. Avoidance teaches the brain two things: first, that the situation is dangerous, and second, that your child isn’t capable of handling it. While avoiding the situation may bring short-term relief, it prevents children from learning that they can tolerate anxiety and that the feared outcome often doesn’t happen (or isn’t nearly as bad as they expected). We also want to be mindful of the “little things” children do to feel safe, such as repeatedly seeking reassurance, having a parent speak for them, or carrying a comfort item they believe they can’t manage without. These strategies may reduce anxiety in the moment, but they can also keep anxiety going if they become something the child feels they must do to cope. Instead, we want to help children face their fears gradually, with support and encouragement. Taking small, manageable steps helps them build confidence and teaches them that they can handle discomfort even if they feel anxious along the way. Confidence grows not by avoiding fear but by learning they can cope with it.

Parents do not cause anxiety disorders, and most are doing exactly what comes naturally to loving parents: trying to protect their child from distress. However, some well-intentioned responses can unintentionally keep anxiety going for certain kids. For example, providing frequent reassurance, allowing a child to avoid feared situations, or changing family routines to reduce anxiety may bring relief in the moment, but they can reinforce the belief that the child can’t handle the situation on their own. Instead, parents can acknowledge their child’s feelings while encouraging them to take small, manageable steps toward facing their fears. The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety but to help children learn that they can tolerate it and cope with it successfully. If making these changes feels overwhelming or your child’s anxiety is significantly interfering with daily life, working with a mental health professional can provide guidance, support, and practical strategies tailored to your family.

Yes. Many children with anxiety improve significantly with evidence-based therapy, particularly cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps them understand anxiety, face their fears gradually, and develop effective coping skills. Parents also play an important role by learning how to respond to anxiety in ways that build confidence rather than reinforce fear. Medication is not necessary for every child, but it can be a helpful part of treatment when anxiety is severe, significantly interferes with daily functioning, or when progress with therapy alone has been limited. The best treatment plan depends on each child’s unique needs and should be developed in collaboration with a qualified mental health professional.